Ada Abroad: Living and Working in Germany

An online journal recording two years spent as a Fulbright/Pedagogical Exchange Service Teaching Assistant at secondary schools in Germany. (2003-2004 I was in a village near Bautzen; 2004-2005 I will be in Nordrhein-Westfalen.)

Location: Münster, Nordrhein-Westfalen, Germany

I'm an American living in Germany, working as a foreign language assistant at a secondary school. Future plans: getting my Ph.D. (probably in Germanic Linguistics), becoming a professor, living an ethical and meaningful life.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Fear the Draft

Lektüre: Siegfried Lenz, Der Verlust

Tagesmenü: Meijer brand macaroni and cheese (imported from home), an orange, tap water

Nervensäge: missing the last bus home from Bautzen

When my father was in high school, he was afraid of the Draft.

This was toward the end of the Vietnam War, and he knew that if his number came up, he could be shipped off to Southeast Asia, where he’d be expected to kill people. And where people would try to kill him, too. So his fear of the Draft was quite rational.

Similarly, about the time when Georgie Bush was getting ready to settle his personal grudge against Saddam Hussein (“He tried to kill my dad!”), my then-eighteen-year-old brother started to get nervous. Really he didn’t have that much to worry about, since a youth spent on skateboards and stunt bicycles left him with so many improperly-healed broken bones that the military would have no choice but to offer him a cushy desk job. But, just in case the Draft came calling, he made an agreement with his buddy Nathan. Should my brother’s number come up, Nathan’s orders were to whack him in the feet with a hammer until they broke again. (I should point out that this would not be as painful as it sounds. My brother has nerve damage in both of his feet. A truck drove over one of them recently, and he didn’t feel a thing.)

Germans fear the Draft, too. They also believe it’s a matter of life and death. But the Draft they fear has nothing to do with the armed forces. It’s the kind that results from leaving doors ajar.

As a foreigner in Germany, I was initially perplexed a phrase I heard frequently: es zieht, literally, “It’s pulling.” When I used my dictionary, I found that this is also an idiom: “There’s a draft.”

Typical scenario: It’s a hot, humid summer day. The car you’re riding in doesn’t have air conditioning, so you crack open a window. “Can’t you close that?” complains the German fellow-passenger. “Es zieht. I’ll catch a cold.”

While I was in the hospital with my broken ankle, a nurse reprimanded me for opening the window on a warm afternoon.

“What do you want to let in a draft for? You’ll catch a cold.”

“That’s a superstition. Colds are caused by germs, not cold air.”

“Any doctor would tell you that the cold air can make you sick.”

“I’m American. In the United States, doctors believe that colds are caused by viruses.”

“Well, of course viruses have something to do with it, too. But mainly it’s drafts. You’ll get sick; you’ll see.”

I realized that arguing with her would be like trying to discuss evolutionary theory with a Southern Baptist, so I shrugged and closed the window. I opened it again when she left the room.

I didn’t get sick, of course. And a few days later, the same nurse prohibited me from taking my flowers home with me. “If you take home flowers from the hospital, you’ll be back within a week. Everybody knows that.” So much for rationality.

The weird thing about this whole draft business is that while Germans are terrified of drafts, they are also big fans of “fresh air.” They sleep with their windows open in the middle of winter. If a room smells funny, they don’t whip out the Febreeze, they air the place out—regardless of the weather.

I can’t seem to tell the difference between “fresh air” and “a draft,” but then I’m just a stupid foreigner. It must be the same genetic defect that causes me to wander about my apartment in stocking feet (Germans would wear slippers) and prefer my vegetables crispy (Germans boil the hell out of just about everything).

Case in point:

I walked into a classroom last week and was struck by the powerful aroma of 11 unwashed adolescent boys. (One of my classes has a hygiene problem.) The room frankly stank, so I asked the kids to open the windows. They obliged.

Then Mr. A arrived. “For Christ’s sake,” he said, “Isn’t one open window enough? Do you think I want to sit around in a draft all day?”

The irony of the situation is that Mr. A is usually a big fan of open windows. On some days this past winter he insisted on “letting in fresh air” even though I could literally see my breath. Fresh air is good for you, you see.

A draft, on the other hand--that can be deadly.


Blogger EricBee said...

I actually have a tendency to wake up sick from a windows being open. The draft does it to me during the colder nights in the fall and winter. Unfortunately, I like fresh air. I was looking for someone who has this problem when I came here, but no luck.

9:13 PM  
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Drafts make you ill, but hey, let's smoke like chimneys!

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Blogger thirtysomething said...

As a German I guess es zieht only when you are sitting around. You notice it around your neck - at least if you are drilled to.
So if you are walking or tucked neatly under a cozy blanket, no draft, just frische Luft.

On the other hand I know stories of almost ever fellow German who spend some time in the US, that at the start of their stay they got a cold when working in a building whit AC. The sudden climate change is something you have to get used to.

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Blogger Piratenblog said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, there's another funny difference between the two cultures. Any good German mother would tell their kid not to leave the house after a nice shower without having dry hair - "You'll get a cold!". I've been told that American kids are somehow immune in such cases...

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Blogger Schaps said...

Funny Post!
As a German, I really don't like those drafts. But not because I'm afraid of getting ill or something. Only because I hate winds or drafts. I only open the window of my car when I'm driving in town. On the motorway I hate the hard wind going through the whole car. That's why I'll never buy a Caprio.
And air conditions aren't my thing, too. When you don't turn them on you think it's too hot, but when you turn it on, it's too cold. And it's a waste of energy the same way.
And: The windows of my Appartment are open all the time ^^

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amen! After three years in Germany, es zieht is still one of my funniest experiences that I will always take with me. I taught for three years, and my experience goes something like this: German students walk into previously closed up classroom. "Es stinkt hier drin" inevitably follows entrance into room. Windows are then opened. 5 minutes later, at least one if not the whole class proceeds to complain that es zieht. Windows are now closed - even if it is a 100 degree day.

Kreislauf probleme is another personal favourite if you would like to get a discussion going on that! ;-)

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Blogger Unknown said...

I know this is really old, but did you happen to notice that a German wrote about your post?

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I commute every day from Wiesbaden to Skankfurt on the Regionalbahn and too often find myself battling these Window Nazis. Nobody seems to notice that there is always only one person who needs to travel in stinky, festering air while the rest of us are supposed to suffer in silence. Honestly, if these people have such a weak constitution maybe they shouldn't leave their house!

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