Ada Abroad: Living and Working in Germany

An online journal recording two years spent as a Fulbright/Pedagogical Exchange Service Teaching Assistant at secondary schools in Germany. (2003-2004 I was in a village near Bautzen; 2004-2005 I will be in Nordrhein-Westfalen.)

Name:
Location: Münster, Nordrhein-Westfalen, Germany

I'm an American living in Germany, working as a foreign language assistant at a secondary school. Future plans: getting my Ph.D. (probably in Germanic Linguistics), becoming a professor, living an ethical and meaningful life.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Reverse Culture Shock

I almost typed "Reverse Culture Schock" into the heading. Which, really, is an excellent example of what's going on here.

I arrived back in the States a week ago, but I think it would be overstating things to say that I've readjusted, other than at the biochemical level. (The jet lag's been under control for two or three days now.) Home has never felt so foreign.

I've been overseas before, but never for more than eight weeks at a time. When I returned from those shorter trips I had "reverse culture shock" too, but it mainly amounted to suddenly noticing how BIG everything is in the US: the vehicles are mostly SUVs; the houses are typically McMansions, Mini-McMansions, and McMansions Deluxe (with or without fries); the residential streets in my parents' subdivision have four lanes; the grocery stores could easily accomodate 15 of the Penny-Markt in my village; the butt cheeks are XXXL and still expanding.

This time the phenomenon is more pervasive.

Take language, for example.

English is my native language. I started speaking it when I was roughly nine months old (first word: "dada"), and as my relatives can attest, apart from pauses for breath I haven't stopped since. On the other hand, I didn't start learning German until I was 19. So it's natural that I have English interference in my German.

But why do I now have German interference in my English? It's subtle, but it's there. I forget which prepositions go with certain set phrases. I produce my L's on the ridge of gums instead of the backs of my top teeth. I try to use German idioms in English. (Asking, for example, "Is your job in order?") And I find myself forgetting what objects, places, and people are called so often that I worried that I'd developed premature Alzheimer's Disease until my friend Kim, who was an exchange student, reassured me. "You're just not used to thinking in English anymore."

Written English isn't much better. When I should type "sh," "sch" comes out. And since I got so used to German keyboards while I was there, I consistently mis-type words with "y"s and "z"s in them (the keys are reversed in Germany) and have trouble finding certain punctuation marks. Reading is slightly affected as well. Yesterday I was at a store, and when the check-out girl rang up one of the beads I was buying at 7 cents, I thought she had overcharged me. I was pretty sure that that particular bead cost 1 cent: the bin it came out of was hand-labeled with a vertical line with a diagonal flag on it (a one, in other words), followed by the cent sign. Then I remembered that Americans write their sevens that way.

Up until 10 months ago, I wrote my sevens that way!!!

I fear that I'll end up like ID, my former German professor. She grew up in a dorf near Coeur D'Alene, Idaho, but spent three years in Germany in her twenties and thirties. Now she speaks English with a distinctly foreign accent and overuses the word "raunchy." New students and the counter people at Starbucks are always asking her what country she's from. Then she has to glare at them and tell them that she's from Idaho, and they get really disappointed.

Reverse culture shock (or "schock") is not confined to the linguistic arena. Other stuff is affected as well-- in both senses of the word "affected." Like when my parents took me out to eat for my birthday, and I felt the need to hold my utensils European-style (knife in one hand, fork in the other, for the duration of the meal). I wasn't trying to look "continental" or impress anyone, I just would have felt uncomfortable eating American-style knowing that people were watching me. As if they would have judged me, though they were all eating American-style themselves. I've been traumatized by being stared at in German restaurants, I guess.

Don't get me wrong. I'm very happy to be home. It's just that home is now very confusing. I know that I'm an American, but I don't always feel or behave the way that Americans are supposed to. I feel like I'm taking a pleasant vacation in a foreign country, rather than returning to the country that I lived in for the first 23 years of my life. As Kim put it, quoting one of her teachers from high school, "Welcome to the 'This-Is-Not-My-Country Club."

41 Comments:

Blogger Anne said...

Hi! I'm going to be a Fulbright TA this coming year in Munich. I just stumbled upong your blog today, it's great to read about someone's daily experiences as a TA. I'm excited and nervouse all at once for the upcoming year :) I also spent a semester abroad studying at Uni Muenster, it was quite an experience, horribly frustrating and wonderful all at once. My blog is www.annieshead.blogspot.com

3:37 AM  
Blogger Ada said...

Hi Anne-

Sorry it took me so long to respond to your comment. I haven't been checking/updating my blog much lately.

Have fun in Munich next year! I hope you end up at a nice school-- that makes all the difference. Most people do, though. Mine just seems to have been an aberration.

I'd be interesting in emailing with you-- I have some questions about Muenster in particular. And of course if you want to ask anything about TA-ing, I'd be happy to answer your questions, too.

I don't feel comfortable posting my email address here, though. So I suppose I'll try to reach you via your blog somehow...

Take care!
-Ada

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